Day 1: My First Step

Have you ever had that ah-ha moment where you knew exactly what you wanted to do with your life? You found your passion, that was it, you were set. Well, I haven't. I've spent the majority of my adult life in a relationship and never got the chance to discover who I was outside of it. Don't get me wrong, I'm not blaming anyone for me not "finding myself", I think it's just easier to lose yourself in someone else than actually stop for a second and evaluate what you actually want.

I've always been a caretaker, when my parents got sick I was there to help take care of them. When I was with my ex I would do anything for them. It's been almost a year that I've been out of a long term relationship and now it's just me. I didn't have anyone to take care of except for myself, and it's taken a lot to finally get to the point that I am going to do it. Instead of taking care of everyone else, it's time for me. This trip for me is about self discovery, it's about learning how to take care of myself. Some say it's selfish to think of yourself first, but I think before you can take care of anyone else, you have to make sure you're taking care of your own well being. I'm no expert, but this is what I've learned and what I'm trying to do for myself.

Today I finished packing up my stuff, left Seattle and headed to Portland. Now this may seem like a fun stop but it's not actually Portland I'm stopping in, it's Gresham. My home town, nowhere that special, but some of my favorite people still reside here.The reason why I'm stopping here is to drop off my cat, Olive, with one of my best friends, Amy. I've told all my friends and family I'm going to miss them, but to be honest, I'm going to miss her the most. She's been there through some of the best and worst times in my life and has never left my side. I would like to think that she would want me to go on this trip, if she knew what was happening. What's good for me is going to be good for her, I think...

Tomorrow I head to California, which I consider my first stop. I still haven't decided if I want to make the whole trek to San Francisco yet or stop and camp somewhere on the way. For those who know me, hearing that I'm going to camp might be comical. I don't camp. Ever. Well, not without a trailer and electricity that is. Stay tuned for my misadventures in camping! I'm feeling so many mixed emotions right now, but most of all I'm excited to take the first step toward change in my life.